Husband losing interest in sex after CB

Jessica says, "I have a 5 month old baby. Ever since the birth, my husband won't get close to me in any sexual way. I have tried everything, but he says he's not in the mood. I don't know what to do or what to think. Please help."

What BabyCenter readers say:
"Jasmine, I had a friend like that too who kept trying to say she had the ultimate trust and loyalty in her relationship because she encouraged her husband to look at porn, and she had this weird opinion that couples who aren't like that are destined for divorce. This is funny, because her husband never pays any attention to her, embarrasses her in front of her friends, and treats her like an object (a worthless object, at that). I get the feeling she is trying to defend her relationship by saying it is better than everyone elses. It is really a sad thing, but there is nothing you can say to a woman like that. They won't change. They'll insist their relationship is beautiful right to the end."-- Raechel "Just wanted to add to my last post. Lisa, you are right to feel affronted by some of the comments men are making. I mean, really!However,(I think) Rich may actually have been supporting women who don't want to perform tricks to get their men to want to have sex with them again after CB. It was just put a little ...umm rudely?! AW"--

"Hi Jessica, It sounds to me that your husband may be looking at you differently now. My husband looked at me differently after giving birth. I was no longer just a woman or his wife. I was now a mother. Like his mother. I have read articles on this. The man looks at you as a mother and that mothers don't do sexual things like that. It seemed kind of crazy to me when I read the articles, but it does happen. My husband did not go to extremes like that, but it sounds like this could be the case with your husband. I guess my best advice to you is to try to talk to him and be patient. He may need to get professional help to help his deal with his emotions and how he is feeling. I also know that becoming a new parent can be overwhelming. He could be afraid of you getting pregnant again. I wish you the best of luck."-- Brandy "Tiredness, stress, the changes in your life; it all takes time to adjust to. Talk, find time for yourselves and above all relax in each others company - it will happen in good time. My wife and I have 3 children and we have a wonderful sex life but we listen to each other a lot. Good Luck!"-- Chris "I'm in the same boat. Since I was 4 months pregnant, we haven't had sex and my baby is 4 months old. My husband says very politely, "No thanks, I am just going ot go to bed now." The rejection really hurts my feelings and I want ot cry. I have lost 50 lbs., got a new haircut, tried all of the things that others have suggested, and nothing works. Good luck to all of you. I hope you aren't as sad about this as I am.cc in CA"-- Anonymous "Bob, I suppose it is quite possible that you are a very nice guy who just comes across poorly and who needs a little bit of information about weight loss, what works and what doesn't. First of all, many of the women who are trying to become pencil thin like a model are not eating 1200 calories a day which is recommended for normal women, and women who are breast feeding need to add 500 calories above that. Many of these women are also exercising 2 hours a day. Yes, two hours. I did this, and I couldn't lose a pound, even while breast feeding. So I suppose you would've called me "one of those fat girls who doesn't take care of herself." My doctor actually was really upset with me for starving myself and overworking myself on top of it, yet by all appearances I was as you say "a slob". But guess what, Bob! Ever since I started eating 1500 calories a day and quit exercising and quit drinking coffee (which I had previously needed a lot of in order to exercise like I was. Oh, yea, and I drank it black, in case you want to blame sugar intake) Yes, Bob, I have lost weight! So please don't call overweight women sloppy and uncaring about their appearances. Most likely they are trying harder than a narrow-minded fool like you would ever realize, but are not getting anywhere with it due to hormones."-- Anonymous "I agree with Damien. That's how my husband is. Just like Damien. He makes sure the house is clean, so I don't have to, and rubs my feet when I say they hurt. Whenever I question something about my marriage, I talk to him about it and we work it out. Communication is the key! Offer the option of just letting him talk to see how he feels and then say what you have to say and come up with a solution. Good luck!"-- Amy "Well Jessica, It can only get better. We have a six week old baby and the thought of sex makes my wife and I tired. All we want to do after the kids are in bed is SLEEP! A lacking quality. After our first child, We didn't have sex for the first few months because we were just so tired. So get some sleep, and have some time out for both of you as a couple and regroup."-- Anonymous "hey jessica,dont panic.this hapens sumtimes,as you give much of your time now to your baby it may disturb your relationship with your husband.finish with all your work before he is home.and get dress in best of your dress and recieve him with a hug and kiss.if possible make something special for dinner.there is a saying the way to mans heart is through his stomach.....so try to put on the music he love.the first thing is involve him with the baby work.dont just take everything all to yourself.this will help him understand that taking care of baby is not easy.hope my advice work for you."-- sarah Inamdar "My husband started losing interest in sex during my pregnancy. (My baby is 2 weeks old now) he watched our daughter's birth, and he made some comments on how seeing that was disgusting, and he's afraid sex won't be the same. Talk to him about it, find out how he feels. Then try to work through it. Best of luck..."-- Anonymous

source- babycenter.com