Victoria says, "My husband doesn't want to spend time alone with me without our 3-month-old. He thinks my desire to go out as a twosome means I don't care about our baby's well-being. Of course I do — all I'm asking for is a couple of hours of one-on-one time with him every once in a while. What can I do?"
What BabyCenter readers say:
""Victoria, I just had a baby and he is not even a month old yet, sure he is our first born, but I do understand your situation. It is really hard to get your husband to be alone with you for the time being , espacially that your baby is only 3 months old. I guess he is just worried to trust the baby to anyone else and spend sometime to be alone with you. There are guys who has that fears, like my husband. But when the baby grows and reach the point that they are already eating solid foods and all that, then your husband will realize that he was not fair, but at this moment you have to be patient. Perhaps you can always give him a hint, like saying something while he is there as if you did not notice him....A lil' bit of humor will help....I hope it can help. God bless!!!"-- Pauline "first off I am the proud father of a 4 month old baby girl and I feel like your husband,there are a lot of sick people out there and I dont feel comfortable with leaving my daughter with any one. I knew there would be a lot of changes when she came. Just give a little time and he will start to ease up and want to do a lot of things with you"-- kevin
That is not like a man to act that way at all however it is nice that he wants to start the family bond now. Maybe try to do something at home to start, put the baby to bed and have a romantic candle light dinner and movie for the two of you to start and build from there. Good luck!"-- Mother to be "Victoria, You two do need time to your selfs once in a while, my doctor even told me that. Find a in the area babysitter and get out for awhile, just because you have the baby it doesnt mean you two cant have time together anymore and it doesnt mean you dont care about the baby, me and my husband have a 8 month old baby and we have to get ot and go out on a date once in awhile we deserve it and so do you."-- Lori "You are definitely not wrong in wanting time alone for the two of you to bond. In fact, in order to keep a successful relationship, experts have advised couples to go on dates alone once a week. I agree with Tara that he may have seperation anxiety. My other thought on the issue was that he may feel like he doesn't get to spend much time with his baby. I am a stay at home mom and my husband works 50 hours a week. I found that he desired to spend more time alone with me when I left the baby with just him for an evening. He understood how demanding the baby was and why I wanted to be alone with him. Maybe you could arrange to meet friends for a girls night out and let him have the baby to himself. It may let him see things in a new light."-- Susanna
source- babycenter.com
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